1. Dolphins 2023

What I find most perplexing is my very own existence. My existence in a world so vast, in a universe eternal. As I write this, I find myself nestled in the trunk of my mom’s car, perched atop the Mission hills, the gentle slopes of light brown hills visible to my right and a lush canopy of vibrant green Mission palm trees enveloping the rest of the landscape. Before me though, beyond the world below and the cars that pass, I’m entranced by a sun too bright as it peeks from behind the clouds, hovering just above the horizon and casting its radiant glow upon the shimmering silver crescent of the bay. I think of what lies beyond the horizon and what resides on the other side of the sun. And what I am in proportion to it all.  It’s so hard to grasp it all. Our world's place in the universe and my place in the world. These contemplative thoughts have stirred within me since I was a child, a young girl joining my brother on his Boys Scouts campouts, long before I became a Scout myself.

  When you think of the people you keep yourself around, such as friends and family, you usually tend to see them just as another person that you hang around;however these people are like another version of you in a sense.      While you will always be unique to yourself, the people you surround yourself around will always have a piece of their shadow embedded into yours. Especially for those older than you, it is like you are following them in their footsteps.       Even when hanging around friends, the people you are with influence the way you act or the way you talk. The sense that whatever interests that they have is also what you will most likely have as well.  For instance, comparing the people I used to hang out with before I moved vs. after I moved made me realize how much I’ve changed as a person. Some people bring out different aspects of you and the more you hang out with them, the more those aspects become a part of your main personality (in a sense). ( starkmark ) Imagin

     Emily and Eric Gan, the duo. In this duo, my older brother is the brains and I am just there. Growing up this was how it always was, my brother and I against the world.      But now that he is off to college (he left on Sunday 9/24/2023, 2 days before my birthday :() and is prepared to never come back home to visit his little sister, what do I do? With a hole in my heart (and my stomach; he used to buy me food all the time), I reflect on the good old days.       In the beginning. Eric and I were enemies, fighting over the iPad and our parents' affection all the time. When I asked Eric how I was as a baby, he said I would always bully him and then cry to get him in trouble (I’m sorry Eric).      As the little sibling, I was always dragged to tag along with him; extracurriculars like Kung Fu, Art, Swimming, Soccer, and Singing were all Eric’s before mine. Eric would always excel in whatever he did, leaving me in the shadow. Granted, he always worked hard for his achievements whe

  As a child, I had a schedule as busy as any high school student. My parents put me into every class imaginable.  On Mondays, I had piano lessons.  On Tuesday, I had a public speaking class On Wednesdays, I had art class.  On Thursdays, I had Hindi class in the afternoon and swimming class in the evening.  On Fridays, I had dance class.  Taking so many classes was exhausting because I wasn’t able to enjoy most of them. I had a natural talent for some classes like art or dance, but I had to work extremely hard for the others. When I wasn’t able to excel in some classes, I pushed myself harder because I had the need to always be the best in everything I did.  I was frustrated at myself but also at my parents for putting me into so many classes because I had wasted so much time on all these activities that I didn’t even enjoy.  Eventually, after doing these activities for a while, my parents let me quit some subjects like piano, Hindi and public speaking which let me focus on the ones t

The Controversy of Accents Accents were pretty darn funny. Growing up, I had always enjoyed (and guiltily still do, despite having an ever-so-slightly more developed sense of morality), making jabs at a silly accent, such as the Chinese accent, with its heavy emphasis on basic syllables, or the British accent, skipping over consonants. However, just like any other joke that targets specific nationalities and ethnic groups, the usage of accents can be ambiguous in their ethicality. Some may argue that leaning into silly accents can help people find solidarity and feel represented in a way. For example, a Chinese character with a strong accent is seen as “completely Chinese”. Chinese people, especially immigrants may feel like they are being “naturally” represented without just being a “whitewashed” Asian character, who has to mention how they participate in Chinese activities. So, these accents are perfectly fine, right? Not really. While this may feel satisfying,

There was a time when I wanted to be a pianist. I had already been playing since kindergarten, and I thought that I was good enough. I decided to try because my family said I couldn’t. They thought it was just too late. “Kids who have a chance at your age would already be studying under professors.” I would work so hard that it didn’t matter. I would learn and practice and become better. My love for the piano turned into anger. If I could just be good at that, I would be fine. I thought that life would be easy if I funneled all its difficulties into the piano. And so I practiced hard and long. I was obsessed. Whenever I wasn’t practicing and was free, I would study piano, listening to pianists’ performances and interviews. I felt like I was venturing into another world, a society where everybody endured the same pain and joy of this deep commitment, where everyone was talented and could converse through improvisations. I would play any melody that I liked, adding my own style and chord

One of the most unexpected places for me to find my identity was in nature. Throughout my entire life, I have always thought of myself as the person who doesn’t go out much, stays home and watches movies or plays video games. Which I was. I mean, my mother signed me up for sports like tennis, basketball, badminton, and golf ever since I was little, but I still didn’t really like the outdoors. However, as I grew older, I started to WANT to play sports and go outside more than I had previously (which still isn’t saying much because I did not really go out much before). I would go hiking with friends on Mission Peak and walking around Coyote Hills, take quiet walks at the park after school with my mom, and go outside the house and feed the stray neighborhood cats. Neighborhood Cat Another cat During the challenging yet exhilarating hikes on Mission Peak, I would talk with my friends about life. Me tripping every now and then but then getting up reminded me of who I was; someone who would

  This weekend, I watched the 1998 version of the movie Mulan with my sister. While watching the movie, I realized that the whole movie is essentially based on Mulan battling her own inhibitions about her identity. I then soon realized that many Disney movies are based on young characters who try to discover their identity. For example, the movie Encanto revolves around the main character Mirabel and her perception of her role and identity amongst her family. In the movie Aladdin , the main character Aladdin strives to be more than the street thief people said he was born to die as. This made me wonder how movies about finding identity affect children as they grow up consuming popular media like Disney movies. One study by Coyne shows that Disney films contain “prosocial” behavior, which is similar to sharing, displaying kindness, and helping others. In fact, Disney films contain, on average, “one act of prosocial behavior every minute”, and this is seven times more than the av

Friends . The Office . Star Wars . Avengers: Endgame .

We all know the paralyzing fear that grips you, as you recognize that ominous buzzing sound approaching. You scan your surroundings and spot the furry insect in flight, just mere feet away. You freeze in place, holding our breath, trembling, your face pale, overwhelmed by a sense of impending doom. Or maybe as a child, the image of screaming and wildly flailing your arms in a desperate attempt to ward off these winged monsters is a memory too vivid to forget. I was no different. So, imagine my reaction, when twelve year old me stepped out into my backyard one morning to with the simple task of feeding my dog, to be greeted by what could only be described as a chorus of a million of the winged monsters. I froze in sheer terror, my heart racing as I cried out to my dad. To my shock and disbelief, he only stood next to me, lips curving upward in what seemed like a knowing smile. In a panic, I hurried to my mom to report my dad’s apparent insanity. “He got us a pet hive!!!!! Not the chicke

Slurs and Identity (an image I found that depicts the effect of slurs very well from Kudos) ( https://www.growkudos.com/publications/10.1075%252Fla.228.09tec/reader )     When I was younger, I had never really understood why slurs were so bad. I just knew not to say any bad words, because otherwise, I would get into trouble. But inside, I would think, “What’s so bad about a word?”     That mindset began to change after I began to learn about the history of African Americans. The n-word, stemming from the word “black” in Spanish, was used to dehumanize slaves, not depicting their humanity and culture, but instead identifying them by the color of their skin. Even a century and a half after slavery was abolished, the n-word continues to carry with it the same damaging connotation.    Slurs demean people, targeting them based on aspects of their identity, such as their ethnic group, gender, or sexual orientation. When someone uses a slur, they attack an entire group of people and demean th

  Everyday we are bombarded with new fashion pieces and trends. All may just seem like another style but the story behind the creation or just how people wear out their clothes makes every piece of clothing and outfit unique. Mixing and matching with the same pieces can create a whole other type of outfit with a completely different style. For instance I can wear a normal street wear outfit ( examples here ) and I can change out the top and it can become a cyber y2k style outfit( cyber y2k ). Usually I wear more minimalist clothing or stuff with a vintage look to it. The outfits help create the person I am and lets me create varying styles to show off my identity in a way. Each outfit speaks in its own way. While each style may die out in the future; the way they have brought people together will never be forgotten.  ( pics from google ) A lot of people also like to design their own clothes to add whatever they want to their clothing to add more uniqueness and let the clothes have a

  For the majority of my life, I have been learning Bollywood and Bharatanatyam dance simultaneously. Bollywood is an entertaining dance form which requires an immense amount of energy, power and pure enjoyment. On the other hand, Bharatanatyam is much more spiritual and rooted in the Hindu religion, so the style of dance is very sturdy and sharp, while also being graceful. There is also a lot of storytelling which requires unique hand gestures and facial expressions.  When people learn this about me, they often ask which dance form I enjoy more. This is an extremely challenging question because each dance form comes with its own set of positives and negatives but I find myself in a state of peace while doing both.  From an external view, the two look to be completely different things in terms of movement and music but they have so much more in common than what meets the eye. Finding the rhythm of the dance, the use of excessive facial expressions, and the amount of practice and dedic