Emily Gan Week 3- Clones
Emily and Eric Gan, the duo. In this duo, my older brother is the brains and I am just there. Growing up this was how it always was, my brother and I against the world.
But now that he is off to college (he left on Sunday 9/24/2023, 2 days before my birthday :() and is prepared to never come back home to visit his little sister, what do I do? With a hole in my heart (and my stomach; he used to buy me food all the time), I reflect on the good old days.
In the beginning. Eric and I were enemies, fighting over the iPad and our parents' affection all the time. When I asked Eric how I was as a baby, he said I would always bully him and then cry to get him in trouble (I’m sorry Eric).
As the little sibling, I was always dragged to tag along with him; extracurriculars like Kung Fu, Art, Swimming, Soccer, and Singing were all Eric’s before mine. Eric would always excel in whatever he did, leaving me in the shadow. Granted, he always worked hard for his achievements when I wouldn’t do all that. I used to hate having my brother’s name and mine in the same sentence, since it always led to comments like “Since Eric is doing well in this why won’t you.” or “You should do this too since Eric is so good at it”.
It was almost like people failed to recognize that I was not an extension of my brother, just because he was good at it doesn’t mean I would be. I would start to resent classes I genuinely enjoyed since Eric did them first and I didn’t want to be seen as a copycat.
As we grew older and matured more, we learned what our own interests were and started to look after each other more. Although our parents still often compare me to Eric, our bond is closer than ever.
When my friends or Eric’s get to know the other sibling, many say that I am just a mini clone of my brother (apparently I talk like him).
But this time, I am proud.
Eric is a wonderful friend and an even better older brother. He told me recently that when he was 11 he swore to himself that he would never curse in front of me to keep my innocence, and then a few weeks later I started cursing at him. He always looked after me, making sure to ask if I ate or if I needed help with my homework.
Now I strive to be like him, caring and strong; and every time someone says our names in the same sentence, I am ready to brag about what an amazing person my brother is.
Although I resented him when we were little, we were always the duo:
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Eric holding me (goober baby).
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Hey Emily! It was really interesting learning about the journey of your relationship with your brother, from resenting his talents to appreciating them. Apologizing for how you treated him in the past also demonstrates your growth and reflectiveness. I admire how your bond with your brother deepened as you both matured, despite your parents’ comparisons. I also have a brother, who is six years older than me and my hero. Like you, my sibling has influenced me deeply, and I follow in many of his footsteps and interests. As early as I can remember, he and his friends held a position of authority and coolness. When I was small, I would brag and try to associate with the people he interacted with. His friends would also ask if I was a mini version of my brother. So, I relate deeply with your feelings as the younger sibling watching the older sibling go off to college. For me, the house, especially the family dinners, felt empty. It was scary, but after a while, being alone provided me room to develop and create a more unique identity. Even while being physically separate from your brother, I’m sure that you can manage your way in this time of transition.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! I like your comparison of comparing siblings to clones, because that is an accurate description of what it feels like to have a sibling. Growing up, my sister and I were essentially the same person; we liked the same music, the same colors, and the same movies. Overtime, as people grow up they often change, and my sister and I started to become more and more different from each other. From being, as what other people described as “inseparable”, we barely knew each other because of how different we are. I agree that people often consider the younger siblings as clones and extensions of the older sibling, since I watch as my younger sister gets compared to me all the time simply because we are related. People often forget that relation does not mean that you can’t have a personality that is extremely different from your family’s. I try to convince my sister to try extracurriculars and hobbies that I have not tried before because I want her to gain a sense of individuality instead of always being in my shadow simply because I did it first. It is great that you and your brother still have a close bond despite all the challenges you faced, because these challenges can often make bonds stronger than before. I hope you continue to keep in touch with your brother although he left for college, and that you will continue to preserve the strong bond you both have built.
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ReplyDeleteWhen you talked about fighting Eric for the ipad, that really made me laugh because that reminded me of my little sister and I. When we were younger we would always fight over everything, from using the computer/ipad to who got to eat the last piece of desert. And just like Eric's situation, my little sister would always get me into trouble simply by crying. I feel like the main reason why many siblings do the same extracurriculars when they are younger is because parents like to make the younger one learn from the older, which should make them both better. However, what I noticed is that a lot of the time as siblings grow up, they end up doing different stuff because they have explored what they really like to do, not just doing what their parents made them do. As for the common comparisons between those that are bound to be said by parents, everytime my mom compares my sister to me, or my sister to I, I always make sure to remind her that we are different people and do things differently and like different things. Also, I realized that comparisons usually lead to people disliking each other, so I try not to let my parents compare me to my sister, or vice versa. It's really great that the bond with your brother is stronger than ever, and I hope that you and your brother can easily stay in touch, which is getting increasingly easier and easier in this time and age of technology.
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