Emily Gan Week 1: The Beginning of Getting Whitewashed
America is an English-based country yet so many people speak a different language. When I was little (like newborn to toddler) I was only ever exposed to Chinese despite living in America since my parents spoke Chinese at home and my brother was mute until he was almost 3 or 4 (if I remember correctly).
A few years later, though, I went to Preschool and started learning how to speak and write in English. I don’t remember these early years very well besides really enjoying nap time, but what I do remember is how scared I was to start Kindergarten. I remember on the first day, we were running late to go to an unfamiliar place. When we got to the classroom door, my mom knocked on the door and I promptly stood behind her leg, scared of what's in there. The teacher greeted us and told us to come inside. The classroom was cozy and colorful and I was excited to play here. Until my mom started telling me to be good and started to leave, I quickly realized what was happening and started to cry and cry. But with no other choice, my mom said her final goodbyes and left. One of the kids already there, who I knew since his older sister was classmates with my brother, came up to me and led me to the rug of colorful squares. And that is all I recall of Kindergarten.
Soon enough though as I started to go to school every day, I started to shed my memory of the Chinese language and quickly picked up English. I think it is crazy how you can forget your language and culture so quickly, from only speaking Chinese and eating Chinese food to only speaking English and begging my parents for mac and cheese and McDonald's. I think many other 1st generation immigrant children relate to this too, getting “whitewashed” and becoming not American enough but also not knowing enough about their culture to proudly represent it.
I remember when I first started to go to preschool, I would also start crying immediately after my mom or dad left me. I'm pretty sure the teacher even told my parents how it was a problem that I was crying because it started making the other kids cry as well. Where I went, there was no one I knew, and I would always be counting down the time when I would be picked up. I also clearly remember hating nap time and I would always stay awake during nap time. I think I probably started learning English when I was in preschool as well, but I am pretty sure my parents also spoke a little bit of English to me as well. I did not really "shed my memory of the Chinese language," however. I spoke both languages pretty interchangeably at home. Also, I don't really think what happened to you is technically whitewashing. The term more suitable for your situation would probably be assimilation. You were transitioning from speaking Mandarin and immersing yourself in Chinese culture to more American customs and language. It really depends on what happened though; if your teachers and the school were forcing American culture upon you, then it might be called whitewashing. If you were just trying to fit in, or it was just more convenient to learn English to talk to others, then it would be assimilation. I think my experience was pretty similar to yours, but I just became more Americanized without becoming less Chinese.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! I can relate to your experience of slowly getting “whitewashed” as you went to school. Before I started going to school, I was comfortable speaking and understanding Hindi, and I also often engaged in Indian culture with my family. By the end of my first year of school, I lost much of my ability to speak Hindi (though I could still understand it well due to my family members speaking it at home). With that, I also began to lose my connection to Indian culture, which only sped up the process of me forgetting Hindi. Now, I can barely say a broken sentence in the language. As you said, the loss of a language is a sad truth that leads to young immigrant children losing their ability to proudly represent their own culture. I agree with your point that many, if not most, immigrant children lose significant connections with their native culture as they grow up in America; part of the blame for this issue can likely be attributed to social expectations, where the impressionable children feel as if they must look and act “American” to fit into society.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily, this blog post really resonates with me because I have gone through the exact same experience. Being born and raised in India until I was about 4 years old, the only language I knew was Malayalam, but presently I am unable to speak in it. I think this has happened to many or first generation immigrant children because we never had the opportunity to properly connect with our country and interact with people who speak the same language. Although there are a lot of different ethnicities and cultures in America, I will never be able to find a Malayalee everywhere I go, which lessens my chance to speak my original language. Language is developed through interaction, and having to speak English almost everywhere you go in America is a key reason why many immigrant kids end up forgetting how to speak in their home language. For me specifically, I was also influenced by the people around me when I first started school in America because they were mostly white. As a way to fit in better, I made sure to lose my Indian accent and properly practice my English. Unfortunately, many kids have gone through the same experience, prompting us to lose our culture and language to be more American.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily!! The beginning of the third paragraph struck a chord with me. While I’m fortunate to have maintained my mother’s tongue, Arabic, and my culture over the years, I can still relate to the experience of unknowingly loosing proficiency in a language I once new so well, in order to gain proficiency in another—in this case English. I once read that a child's ability to quickly pick up a language is due to neuroplasticity. But even so, at such a young age, it can be challenging to strike a balance between embracing a new language and identity while preserving cultural heritage. Due to this, many find themselves becoming “whitewashed.” Personally, when I moved to America as an infant, in addition to speaking Arabic, I was also somehow fluent in French. Sadly, much like your experience of losing your ability to speak Chinese, I eventually found myself incapable of conversing in French. I sometimes wonder that maybe if my parents had pushed me to keep speaking French at home, I would be a fluent French speaker today…That would be cool. Nonetheless, despite losing my ability to speak the language, I never truly saw myself as "whitewashed." I believed that, instead, this was simply a result of adapting to my new environment.
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